I’ve been meaning to write about a certain movie since the start of the summer but I haven’t quite been ready to. It felt like I had all the time in the world, as usual, and what’s more, I knew writing about it was going to make me cry. I’m not uncomfortable crying, mind you, I just didn’t want to deal with these particular tears. But I just looked out my kitchen window, thought about the movie and I broke down. So, here I am, late in the evening on what I guess is the last day of summer, tears in my eyes, and I’m finally going to put my thoughts to paper.

It always really bugged me that in KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE, Kiki sets off into the world so ill prepared. She’s a young witch-in-training with no discernable witching skills (except for flying on a broom). She leaves home, as is witch tradition, on her 13th birthday and makes her way to a large city where she faces a number of setbacks in her journey to becoming the city’s resident witch.

The movie is beautiful, the themes of independence and reliance (on self and others) are honest and true. Kiki is one of those perfect Ghibli films but I always wondered, what the hell were her parents doing for the last 13 years??? This question always kind of ruined the movie for me.

So why am I having such a strong reaction to this movie and this question? Well, I just dropped off my daughter at college. The event has been hanging over my head since spring break earlier this year when we did a campus tour. I thought about my child’s impending adventure and found myself suddenly relating to Kiki’s parents. What the hell have I been doing for the last 18 years??? I’m not saying my kid is ill-prepared (I made sure of this, we used to make “Witch’s Brew” in our back garden out of flower petals, woodchips, and compost), I just wonder now if there’s any amount of preparation a parent can provide that makes them feel they’ve done their job. I looked out the kitchen window tonight and thought about all the many ways I could have done more. Or if not more, done different.

The universe is pretty big on giving me obvious signs. Or maybe I like looking for signs. Either way, this discovery we made as we drove into the campus was a fitting coincidence.

The theater near my kid’s college is showing KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. Why here, why now? Who knows. What’s my takeaway? Let me tell you.

At the end of KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE, Kiki has found inspiration and purpose and is happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for my kids. My hope is that I’ve prepared my kid well enough to identify what inspiration, purpose and happiness look like (if not what it means to them) but I also know that, like with Kiki, this is a journey they have to make on their own.

Now listening to:

Updating to say two things: first, I’ll take backseat to very few people in my love of Miyazaki films. One of those people is my daughter. I love Miyazaki films, she lives them. There was always one of either Totoro, Porco Rosso, Spirited Away or Kiki in rotation in our DVD back when she was little and their impact was strong. These days she might identify with Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle, but back then she was Fio. We used to play Porco Rosso which was sitting longways on our living room couch pretending it was an airplane. We’d tour the Mediterranean, land and then pull up the cushions to hammer away at the engine before taking off again. Second, the reason for my tears might not be so deep as all I wrote above. I just miss my kid. She’s a fun person to have around. (Cut to Jerrold crying, flying solo on his couch.)